Online dating – The Swiping Storm & Soulmate Sacrilege

About a year ago, I downloaded tinder. Why? Well, I’d just broken up with my first boyfriend and I was heartbroken and I really wanted to get out and meet new people. But let’s not go into those details. Fast forward to the present, and the app still lingers on my phone, to be opened once in a while and browsed, but never to lead to anything more than to pile up a bunch of people who I never would have met in the ordinary circumstances of my life and who will forever remain the object of a bored midnight’s swipe.

And why you may ask? Why have I not gone on countless dates with these fine gentlemen of the internet. I’m sure some of them are great guys, you know, the ones who don’t start a conversation with ‘Wanna chill? 😉 😉 😉 ‘ and I’m sure if I met them in real life, I’d probably get all shy and pretend to be cute and bat my eyelashes and ask them if they wanted to go out for a coffee. Now, let’s stop here for a moment. Notice how I said that I would ask them if they wanted to go for a coffee? That’s right. Little old me, making the first move, taking the bull by the horns and putting it all out there. Because girls in this century need to start taking control. But more of that some other time. The reason why I haven’t gone on any dates (save maybe one or two but even these I quickly ran away from) with the guys available on the inter webs is because I absolutely dread, and I mean positively cringe, at the idea of telling my family and my children one day that I met my partner on the internet. I can’t do it! I just can’t. Now this is not me judging! I would never. I know stories of couples who have found each other online and they’re living their happily ever afters and I am genuinely so happy for them and their beautiful relationships. BUT the very idea of not having that adorable first sighting love story, that meeting of the eyes across a dance floor or a Tesco aisle and that first time one or the other plucks up the courage to ask for some digits and plan the next meeting that will lead to a beautiful joining of the mind and soul that will lead to ’till death do us part’, makes me unbelievably distraught. Okay yeah you get the picture, I’m a hopeless romantic.

Nevertheless, I refuse to believe that we have become so busy and so consumed by our phones that we have resorted to using the internet to mess with fate. We’re so lazy! Myself included. I don’t know if I believe in soulmates. But back in the day, our parents and grandparents had jobs too! They were super busy, doing whatever it is they did and yet we’re living proof of the fact that they found their significant others and things went pretty okay if you ask me. And they didn’t need the intervention of a little box and some waves in the air to help them do that. Why do we now think that we need to resort to starting a conversation with a complete stranger online that we otherwise would never have met (or maybe we would have because life is funny like that) and perhaps mess with what would have happened had we not had tinder or bumble and we’d simply been living our lives. Which brings us back to the soulmates discussion. If you don’t believe in soulmates at all that’s completely fine. If you believe that everyone has more than one soulmate that’s completely fine too because that means that if you find your ‘soulmate’ online, then your other ‘soulmate’ which you would have met had the world not blessed us with the internet will be okay because he/she have another ‘soulmate’ out there to find too. But if you tell me that you’ve found your one ‘soulmate’ online… I’m sorry but I can’t stomach that. If you just humour me here and indulge the soulmate debate, the whole concept is about something metaphysical, it’s about the connections of the soul and the spirit that we don’t understand. And I think that even those of us who say we don’t believe in soulmates, knows what it’s like to be in love (or will one day) and I mean who doesn’t want to think that there’s a person (or two) out there for every one of us. On that basis, why do we think that a man-made concept such as technology is going to advance the work of the universe? I don’t get it.

Be patient. Good things take time. What’s meant to happen will happen to you and it’ll be amazing. Don’t try and rush things and end up confused because guys on the internet will make you believe the worst in the world with their unsolicited pictures and their flashing of their abs as if all it takes to win a girl is a 6 pack. All it does is win you a screenshot and a 5 minute drool in the group chat but thats about it. And let’s face it, most of the time the guys are only looking for one thing and if he’s swiped right on your pouty face with your puppy filter… its probably not because he wants to get to know your beautiful personality. It’s so much more worthwhile waiting for that amazing guy (and there are so many out there) who will approach you one day and change your life forever. Then again I know that some people are super happy with the way their online dating experiences turned out and I hope this didn’t offend anyone! You do you! I realise this sounds like I’m hating on the internet but I would never because I’m obsessed with my instagram and of course if I didn’t have the internet I wouldn’t have my blog. I’m just saying the internet shouldn’t be an excuse to be lazy and a way out of being patient and waiting for life to work itself out.

I’d like to point out that I wrote this at 1am. Make of that what you will.

Sit back, grab some Oreos, and let’s see what life has to offer us next.

Love,

Vadz

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1 Comment

  1. April 6, 2018 / 11:27 pm

    i love your perspective on this!

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