A Self-love Valentine’s Day post – the single girl’s club speech

I’m calling out every single young woman out there right now. Yes, you!

We’ve heard it over and over again, the single girl who goes on for a suspiciously long time talking about how she’s totally over the whole trend, how her last relationship (or near relationship) was a complete sham and how this year is all about her. How do I know this? Because I’ve been that girl. I promise not to recite what we’ve already heard. I’m not going to say that I don’t believe in Valentine’s day in an attempt to make it less depressing for myself. I won’t say that Valentine’s day should be about more than just couples and that it’s also about family and friends and self-love. Don’t get me wrong though, because valentine’s day this year was totally about personal love. I bought myself a big box of cupcakes, a bright red rose and I may or may not pop a bottle of the cheapest bubbly I can find (I won’t drink it all alone don’t worry). Treat yourself to a manicure, get a facial, take yourself out for lunch, run yourself a bath with rose petals, drown your eardrums in Celine Dion’s finest hits. We try them all in an attempt to ignore the arrow above our heads attached to the big ‘SINGLE’ neon sign. And I want to remind you that it’s okay. It does not mean you’re not happy. Because you are! We are! We’re fabulous and we’re living our best lives and making the most of what this funny little thing called life has to offer, but it’s okay to admit that your self-love attempts have a few cracks, and that you also sometimes wish you could be part of a little bubble of gooey couple love.

I was on the train the other day and this couple with their dog were sitting opposite me, and you could tell from their body language that they were soooooo in love. She had a slightly worried look on her face and her body was leaning into his. One of his arms was around her shoulders, his face close to hers trying to reassure her, the other hand on her knee while still somehow managing to stop the dog from hopping to the ground. They literally exuded all these suffocating fumes of perfection and happiness and pixie dust, the kind that makes everyone who isn’t inside their little daydream feel very bad about themselves and very claustrophobic (A train carriage is too small to contain all that PDA.) You couldn’t hear what they were saying, but it was like they were lost in their own little world. It was both unbelievably adorable and toxically cringe worthy at the same time. And all I could think about was how he probably had a super cute Valentine’s day dinner planned for her, and she had probably bought him that perfect abstract gift that’s both sentimental and useful; (Or maybe not, for all I know they may not even like Valentine’s day, but I doubt it). So anyway, there I was stuck in front of them for 5 whole minutes holding my breath, but then I had a thought. Although I’m not one for overly excessive amounts of PDA, it’s undeniably always a lovely thing to see people in love. No matter how sad it makes you, or how much you wish you were in that position yourself, (or maybe you don’t at all which is completely fine too), you can’t help a little ‘awww’ every time you see something as cute as young love. So, think about this. Think about the fact that in this world that has so much hate and hurtful gossip and cruel people, and with all these natural disasters, political instability and world crises, that there none the less exists a little bubble, a different world where you can escape to, when you find the right person to go with, where even just for a 5 minute train ride, the whole world disappears, and everything is almost perfect. The fact that a place like that exists, wherever those two people opposite me on the train were, makes the world that tiny bit of a better place.

Valentine’s Day is a beautiful day. Yes, I firmly agree that couples should express their love for each other every day of the year and that it shouldn’t be that you wait for this day to make a special effort, but at the same time, it’s also nice to have a day where guys have no choice but to be cute and romantic. Haha I’m just kidding (but not really). It’s nice to know that there is a day that recognizes and encourages the beauty of love. Even if you’re not in a relationship, reconcile yourself with the fact that love is such a powerful thing, that we have taken a whole day out of the other 364, to celebrate it in its entirety, and that one day, maybe very soon, you’ll get to have your share of that (again).

But in order to maintain these flowery and positive thoughts, I have a few don’ts for my fellow single girlfriends out there. I read a blog post the other day about ‘5 types of guys you’ll date in your 20s’. Now you all know that I’m an eternal optimist, but these types of posts can be a bit depressing so I wouldn’t encourage indulging in them, especially around this time of the year, because they give you this expectation of what your life is meant to be about, when in fact, every path is different and we have no idea of what’s coming our way. It makes you wonder why you haven’t met the dashing French musician described on page 6 or why it didn’t work out with the dreamy eyed Canadian badboy on page 7. Every crush/fling/love you encounter is going to be different and no Cosmopolitan writer can accurately tell you that your zodiac just isn’t rightly aligned with Venus or that Mercury is in retrograde and that’s why you don’t have a valentine this year. Also, do not, under ANY circumstances, watch The Notebook, or The Titanic and certainly DO NOT watch Valentines Day (on a side note its a great movie and the cast is to die for BUT please watch it on any other day of the year). Finally, go out with your girlfriends for a night on the town where you can forget all your worries and dance the night away. Or alternatively, just turn your phone off and go to bed early, or else you may end up drinking too much wine and doing something you regret in the morning. I think I’ll just leave it at that.

For those of you who are in a relationship and still felt inclined to read this post, then I hope that your Valentine’s Day has all the romance, roses and rough and tumble that you deserve. For my fellow single ladies, all that I can say is that you’re still fabulous and Valentine’s Day is so overrated anyway 😉

Love,

Vadz
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